Be Aware of Fan Girls
by Happyteehee
Summary: Hijikata Toshirou finds himself in a young girls house after a mission gone wrong. He don't know how long he's been there or how long he'll have to stay. He have to be careful, he's dealing with his number 1 fan and he doesn't want to do anything rash that might get him in any danger. Parody of Stephen King's "Misery". Be aware of fan girls, they're everywhere...
1. Boom

**I don't know what it is with hurting Hijikata, but I just love it. Maybe it's his M-side? Well, this is a parody of  
****_Stephen King's _book "Misery" and who other than Hijikata would be the perfect target? His #1 admirer, Takamori Shizuka (preferred to be called Shizu) found him lying in the snow wounded. The Vice-Chief soon discovers the dark side of a fan girl and it isn't pretty. ****  
**** Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama, the plot in «Misery" or anything related to either of the series/book. I only own Takamori Shizuka.**  
** Now, enjoy!**

* * *

An unconscious Hijikata Toshirou lay on the snowy ground. The last thing he could remember was his and Okita Sougo's team had gone to take down a

terrorist organization that made laser they were trying to take down the Bakufu, but luckily Hijikata had sent Yamazaki Sagaru to go

undercover. What they didn't know was that the terrorists had planted bombs inside the factory where they made these lasers. And barabim baraboom–

Hijikata and the rest of the team had flown through the air and landed on the cold snowy ground. However, Hijikata Toshirou was not a lucky man, he had

never been particularly lucky, but this was just ridiculous. How come _he _was the one who had to be thrown so far away from the others? He wanted to curse,

but the only thing that came out of his mouth was his warm blood. His sight was terrible, it was all blurry and out of focus. His left arm was impossible to move,

"_I've probably broken a couple of ribs as well as bones. God damn it…!" _He coughed up some more blood before the darkness took him over.

_"It's alright, I won't hurt you! You just have to keep breathing! Don't go over to the dark side!" _a voice yelled. It was a feminine voice, "_I got you, come on. I'll just_

_pull you onto my sleigh and then we'll be off to a better place! You just relax!"_ the voice called. He still couldn't see anything, but he could feel his body was being

moved and dragged in the snow. He winced when he felt a pair of arms grabbed him by the waist and pulled him onto something, something with fur. It was

soft and it felt good towards his cheek. "_There! It won't be long until we're back at my place and then I'll clean your wounds and patch you up. You'll_

_be the ever handsome Demon Vice-Chief faster than you'd imagine!_" Empty promises. For all Hijikata knew he could end up with some lunatic (since he was the

luckiest man in the world) watching over him and how was it that this person knew who he was? He didn't bring his wallet; he remembered he had forgotten it

in the police car. He also remembered that he left his pack of cigarettes, his beloved mayocigs. The voice kept on talking, but he couldn't hear what it said, all

he could think was "_Who _are _you?"_

* * *

_"What if they're gone, what will we do then?" Okita's monotone voice asked. Hijikata blew smoke out of his nostrils and gave Okita an annoyed look. "They can't be_

_gone. Another reliable source told me they were workingreally hard trying to finish these "lasers". I don't see why that source would be lying, because if he did I'll _

_make him commit seppuku." Okita hummed, "It's still possible, though. Are you sure you can trust this guy of yours?" Hijikata sighed, "I wouldn't be calling him a _

_"reliable" source if he wasn't reliable, you idiot!" Okita shrugged and looked at Hijikata from the side. "We're there soon." Okita said as_

_he turned the wheel of the car to the left and they could see the ceiling of the factory. Okita pulled the car over and stopped it. They were both quiet, just looking _

_at the factory waiting for the big moment to happen. The moment where they made Edo a little bit safer. The other officers came up behind and stopped their cars. _

_One of the lieutenants walked up to Okita and Hijikata's car. Hijikata rolled down the window, "We're ready, Vice-Chief! Just waiting for yourcommand to move." He _

_said and saluted the both of them, Hijikata nodded, "Good, we'll move as soon as possible." Okita stepped out of the car and let out a big sigh, "You know, _

_Hijikata-san, I really don't like thesesorts of raids. There are all these weapons we confiscate that we can't use." Hijikata threw his cigarette pack in the car as he _

_got out. "What are you talking about? You took the bazookas, didn't you?" Okita made an "Ah~" sound and blew a pink bubblegum bubble. Hijikata looked at _

_Okita with a nod and both of them drew their swords. "Everyone's ready!?" Hijikata yelled to the men and they all returned his question with a loud "hai". They all _

_charged towards the factory, quietly, though. Hijikata exchanged a nod to Okita and the others and then they kicked the door open and rushed in. Just as they were _

_inside a bomb went off and the only thing Hijikata thought was; "Ah, I forgot my cigarettes…"_

* * *

Pain rushed to Hijikata's head, his vision was still blurry, but he saw his surroundings clearly enough. He was lying on a futon in a small room with no windows.

It was dark and cold; he could hear footsteps coming towards him. He tried to decide if he should pretend to be asleep or be awake to see the person who

helped him. He decided to go with the latter. It was a short woman; she had short black hair and blue eyes. She wore a long black kimono with a red obi tied

around her stomach. She was holding a tray with what he suspected was a bowl with soup. It was always soup.

"Oh, you're up! I'm so glad!" she exclaimed and smiled a bright white smile. "Ye-yeah…WH-who are you?" he asked with a shaky voice. The woman put down

the tray next to him and sat down beside the futon. "My name is Takamori Shizuka, but please; calls me Shizu. Everyone else does." Hijikata swallowed hard,

he was in a lot of pain and this girl's happy demeanor wasn't helping _him _in any way. "Did you bring me here all by yourself?" he asked, she nodded and

stroked his forehead carefully, "Yes, there were no one else to help me. But you're alright now, you're safe." "How? Were there anyone else there?" "No, only

you." He closed his eyes tightly and let out a loud sigh. He thought about his comrades and Kondo. Shit, Kondo! What would he say? He would probably bawl

like an infant baby. Most of his men – vanished in an explosion. He felt ashamed. He had to get out here as soon as possible. He tried to get up, but the pain

wouldn't let him move an inch. "No, no! You have to lie down! You've got stitches as well as bandages, so lie still." She wasn't smiling anymore. She had a stern

look upon her face; it reminded him of Kondo's whenever one of the members of the Shinsengumi were sick. He would always sit by their side

and pretend to be their mothers. Only Shizuka or Shizu had a more menacing look. Like she was mad at him, really mad. "I have to contact Chief of the

Shinsengumi, Kondo Isao. So would you let me borrow your phone?" She grabbed the spoon which lied next to the bowl and put it down in the hot soup, "I've

always admired the Shinsengumi's actions. They sacrifice their lives for the rest of us, to keep us from any harm. I really admire you, Toshirou-sama." Her hand

had found his bandaged one and she squeezed it lightly, "Here," she helped him sit up and every muscle in his body ached, he groaned loudly, "it's okay, I

got you." She kept saying that; _don't worry_, _I'm here_ and what not. He still didn't know _why_. It couldn't be just because she 'admired' the Shinsengumi. Could it?

Hijikata breathed in as to ease the pain, it didn't help anything. "There, now take a sip. You need nutrition." Then it hit Hijikata, he didn't know how long he had

been out. After he had tasted the soup which he was sure was chicken, he coughed. "It's too hot." He muttered, "How long have I been out, anyway?" She

didn't answer him; she kept feeding him and smiling. He decided he didn't want to push it any further; he was in too much pain. It was odd; the

most painful of all of this was the lack of mayonnaise in the chicken soup. What happened next scared him a bit, "Oh my God! I forgot the mayonnaise! I'm so

sorry, Toshirou-sama…" she looked shameful. "It's fine. Don't worry." He said, but she didn't listen. Shizu walked out of the room in a hurry and came back in

the same tempo. It was a big bottle of yellow deliciousness. She poured the mayonnaise into the soup and started to feed him again. "Thank you." He was

short, he didn't know this person, for all he knew she could be an ex-convict trying to lure him to trust her. Then, when he least expected it, she would strike.

She didn't say anything until the feeding commenced, "I'll help you lie down." She held his back and held one hand carefully on his bandaged chest while he lied

down. He winced as his head touched the pillow, were there stitches there, too? Hijikata looked up at her, she wasn't an ugly girl, but there were something

about her that seemed… unpleasant.

"Goodnight, Toshirou-sama. I hope you'll be able to sleep well. You're going to need it." And with that she closed the door quietly. Her steps were slow and at

one point they stopped, like she had forgotten something or listening to something.

-

Hijikata didn't sleep that night, he was too worried and he couldn't relax with the pain in his body. Not only that, he had this feeling of uneasiness. Something

was going on in this house, he could feel it. One thing he had learned from Kondo was to trust his gut and that was what he did. He had to get out of this

place, one way or another. It didn't matter how.

* * *

**The end of the first chapter.**

**First chapter out! I'll post the next chapter tomorrow, I promise, regardless if I get any reviews or messages because I just love torturing Hijikata. I'm sorry, but it's...fun. **  
**Still, it would be fun to get at least **_**one **_**review...Ah! Sorry! Forgot to not sound desperate for reviews, yet I did. Ahem, I'll leave you with that and I hope you had a pleasant reading!**

**-Teehee~. **


	2. Blood & Sweat

**Second chapter up! This won't be a very long one, though. The third will be a lot longer, so if you continue to read this you've got a big surprise comin'! Or not, depends on what kind of mood I'm in. **  
**Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama, the plot in «Misery" or anything related to either of the series/book. I only own Takamori Shizuka.**  
**  
**

* * *

The Vice-Chief woke up with a start; the rapid movement made his body ache and making him wince. He carefully lifted up his bandaged arm to look at it, he

sighed as he examined it – it looked horrible. Plus it was his right arm, his fighting arm. He was good at using his left hand in battle, but it was the right one he

was best and most dangerous with. He inwardly kicked himself; he shouldn't have trusted that low- life. Okita was right, as much as Hijikata wanted to deny it-

"_Sougo! Where is he? Is he dead?"_Hijikata found himself panicking, he had completely forgotten about Sougo! Hijikata tried to yell for Shizu, but his voice was

too weak and he hadn't been drinking anything since last night. If it even was last night, he didn't know for how long he had slept since there were no

windows for him to see if it were night or day. Hijikata still thought about Sougo, he couldn't help it. They always fought with each other, however; deep down

they were brothers. He hated to admit it and he sure as hell would never tell the sadist it, either. He cursed under his breath. Hijikata turned his head towards

the door, using his other un-bandaged arm to push him up. The feeling of regret cut through him like a katana, but he managed to sit up. Heaving after his

breath he dragged himself towards the door with his 'strong' arm. He was right by the door, but before he got to it – it opened.

"Oh! Toshirou-sama! Why are you out of bed?" she held the same tray she had brought him the first time. "I have to leave!" he said with a raspy voice, "No,

you have to stay! You can barely walk and look at your body, it's practically broken." Shizu supported him by holding him by his waist and walked with him

towards the futon, but Hijikata wouldn't let her. "Please, I can't lie down anymore… And water, I need water." She was hesitant, but helped him sit down in an

armchair that stood in the corner of the room. Shizu helped him sit down without straining any muscles, but he still winced a little when he sat down.

The armchair was a lot more comfortable than the futon he recently had spent his latest hours on. "I'll go and fetch you some water, you just sit here and relax,

alright?" He nodded weakly and she gave him a bright smile. He couldn't understand why she was so happy. She nearly beamed whenever she was around

him and Hijikata didn't like it. He didn't trust her.

When Shizu came back she offered him the glass of water (but first she tried to help him drink it, but he pushed her hand away) and drank it. He breathed

heavily out and mumbled a 'thank you' to Shizu who stood and watched him closely with a Mona-Lisa smile. "Do you have a phone I can borrow? I need to

contact the Chief of the Shinsengumi, it's urgent." He said in a calm voice and tried to be as polite as possible, even if his whole body hurt like a mother and all

he wanted to do was to curse and call for his beloved Mayorin.[1] Shizu's cheek turned pink and she nodded quickly and stuttered out 'of course, I'll get it for

you'. Hijikata thanked her and leaned his head on the chair's back. When a good 15 minutes she still hadn't come back with the phone. Hijikata tried to stand

up again, but it was difficult. Time went and still Shizu hadn't come back and it was worrying Hijikata. He couldn't do much by himself, he could barely sit

straight! Hijikata scoffed and laughed rather forced and thought, "_God damn it, I'm the Demon Vice-__Chief of the Shinsengumi, Hijikata Toshirou! I'll get out of here,_

even without that woman's help!"

One strong push from the armchair and he stood – on his own! He swallowed down the pain and took one step

forward, then another one and then another one. He used his un-bandaged hand to lean on the wall frame and a small drop of sweat ran down his temple. He

swallowed hard. "_I need painkillers to ease the pain __or else I'm never going to be able to walk out of here."_He kept sweating and it made his hair damp, it felt more

difficult to breathe and his vision became blurry again. His knees keened over and Hijikata fell to the floor, his head still leaning towards the wall. He was

scared, scared of the darkness. He didn't know what happened during these blackouts, but he felt worse after each one. Something was really wrong here.

* * *

The Vice Chief woke up on the floor in front of the door. He lied in a puddle, a puddle of blood – his blood. He quickly found the wound; it was from the back of

his head. He touched the back of his head carefully and felt the bloodstained hair. He looked at his hand, it was bloodstained with a dark color red, but it

seemed like the bleeding had stopped. "_That's a relief…"_he thought and tried to push him up from the floor without success. Suddenly loud rapid footsteps came

towards him and the door burst open hitting him in the face. He fell backwards with a loud thump and held his bleeding nose. "Wh-what the hell?!" he

yelled to Shizu who held her arms behind her, it looked like she was dragging on something. "Toshirou-sama, you keep defying me. I don't want to be mean or

rude, but you're not making this any easier for me and here I brought you a surprise, too." She pouted at him. He stared at her and then tried to look behind

her, but he couldn't see anything in particular. "_Maybe it's many bottles with mayonnaise?"_he thought and for a second his mood was slightly lightened. Shizu

walked towards the Vice-Chief, dragging a big black bag after her. "What's in that bag?" Hijikata asked, still holding his bleeding nose. "Oh, you'll see

soon enough, my dear Toshirou-sama." She said a bit too sweetly to Hijikata's liking. He raised an eyebrow and eyed the bag. It looked like she had put a giant

animal in it. Shizu sat down in front of Hijikata, pushed a pair of hair strands away from her face and looked him deeply in the eyes, "I would do anything for

you, no matter what. If you want to see your men so badly, I'll let you. The sad part is," she turned away from him and opened the black bag and pulled

something out, "no one survived."

Her expression was blank and in her hand she held an arm. He recognized the torn uniform right away – it was from a

Shinsengumi member's uniform. Shizu waved the detached arm in front of him with a sweet smile, "I'm very sorry, but at least you have closure. Isn't that

nice?" Hijikata didn't answer; he looked back and forth at the arm and the bag. How many other body parts were in that bag, was Okita in it, as well? He felt

sick; this girl sat in front of him having no problem holding a severed hand like it was something completely normal. Shizu sighed and put threw the arm on his

futon, "Have it. I don't have a need for it, but since you miss _them_so much you might as well cuddle up with it. You should be happy, Toshirou-sama, I am your

biggest fan. I hope you remember that, it would be smart." She said and left the room, leaving the bag behind.

Hijikata was sure now. He _definitely _had to leave this place and find help.

* * *

**Dun, Dun, Durum~! Will Hiji-kun ever get out of the clutches of little Shizu or will he forever stay by her side?**  
**[1] - Fun fact: I've noticed that every time I write something with Hiji, even if I don't publish it - I always make a reference to Mayorin. But let's face it; Hiji got a crush on Mayorin.**

**Until next time!**

**-Teehee~.**


	3. Crazy

**Third chapter up!  
Disclaimer:** **I do not own Gintama, the plot in «Misery" or anything related to either of the series/book. I only own Takamori Shizuka.**

* * *

Takamori Shizuka or Shizu wasn't your typical girl next door. Ever since she was little she had problems getting to know the other children in the neighborhood,

and she still problems in her adult life. No matter what Shizu did the other children wouldn't want her around. They constantly bullied her and made fun of her

in front of everyone. Since Shizu was an orphan she didn't have anyone to stand up for her. They all thought she was different and weird. Shizu would often sit

by herself and cry for hours. She sat nearby a dojo run by some kind of an idiot. They were always so loud, yelling, laughing, fighting, but there were someone

who always placed a plate with food out for her. She didn't know who it was, but she was ever grateful for it. Usually it was cold soup or raw meat, but little

orphan Shizu didn't mind. She had a guardian angel who watched over her. Shizu tried to figure out who it was and she did come to a conclusion. It must've

been the long black-haired young man who always practiced with his sword. He would often fight with a young boy with brown hair who always seemed to pick

on the black haired one. Shizu had heard the black-haired one being called 'Toshirou' and 'Toshi', and she would often think of him as her precious 'Toshirou-

sama'. Her hero, her savior, and her precious friend. One day she found a note hidden under the bowl of cold soup, it was written in a very beautiful manner

and it said;  
_  
Wouldn't you rather take revenge upon those who wronged you?  
Wouldn't you like to be free of the burden of being in everyone's way?  
Wouldn't it be better to make them ALL disappear?_

Shizu re-read many times. Could this be a sign? She had thought about cutting the other children into bits and pieces, but that was just her daydream. It was

never like she _truly _wanted it to happen. Yet, here she was given a sign; some kind of proof that if she chose to go down that path it was going to be alright.

Her savior wouldn't mind it at all. So Shizu decided to do something about the mean children - to stop them to do _anything_again.

Shizu waited and waited for the children to come. She hid herself in their tree house where they usually played. She waited under a box which supposed to

look like a table. Shizu chuckled, they were so silly. When they entered the tree house they chatted and laughed, Shizu smiled as well. One of the children, a

boy called Hiro, asked the others if they had seen _Shitzu_(Shizu's nickname). They shook their heads and laughed, "It's great! No more Shitzu! I wonder if she

fell down a well or something, that would be great." They all laughed. "_They won't be laughing anymore after this…"_Young Shizu thought to herself with a wicked

grin. She held a small, but deadly knife closely to her chest and closed her eyes, counting quietly to ten before she started to hum. The children was terrified,

was it a ghost?! One of the girls started to scream and tried to climb down from the tree house, but Shizu had been very clever, you see. She had placed a pair

of scissors so that they would cut the ropes that held the rope ladder up if anyone tried to climb down, so when little Yori placed her foot on the rope ladder

the scissors cut the ropes and down she fell. They all heard a loud thump and a horrible scream. Then Shizu jumped out from under the 'table' and cut Hiro's

throat, another child was so frightened that he fell out of the window and all the way down. He didn't scream like Yori did. Shizu smiled wickedly at her last

victim. Hiro lay by her feet in his own pool of blood, coughing and crying. The young boy in front of fell down on the floor and backed up against the tree wall.

"Apologize." Shizu said with her hand raised, twirling the small knife in her hand. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" the boy cried and for a moment he thought he would get

away. Shizu's grin grew wider and even wickeder, "You should have thought of that sooner."

She stabbed him several times in the stomach while he screamed and pleaded her to stop. The boy wasn't as old as the others, he was younger than Shizu,

but it didn't stop her, no. She continued until the boy lied perfectly still.

Shizu sat and looked around her, there was blood everywhere. Hiro's eyes looked straight into hers, but she didn't flinch. She stared right back at those cold

and lifeless eyes with a small smile.

"Ah~, it's your own fault for being so cruel, you know. I only did what I was told to do by Toshirou-sama." She said and rose from the body she had impaled

several stabs into. She tied a rope to one of the tree branches and climbed down to the ground. Little Yori was in shock so she couldn't speak. Her legs were

deformed, the bones pointed in every direction.

That was the last time Takamori Shizuka was seen by anyone in the village. She had simply disappeared.

* * *

It reeked. The small room was now filled with the stench of blood and decayed body parts. Hijikata's wounds seemed to be healing, but he wished they'd heal

a bit faster so he could do something about that crazy girl. What he couldn't understand was what she meant by 'Toshirou-sama'. Hijikata wasn't often in the

news; he was merely a feared name, a name that was whispered in fear by terrorist organizations. He always believed he'd die from a blade on some kind of

battlefield. He, alongside Okita and the others, would fight for Kondo and their country. Yet, here he was about to die from either his injuries (which seemed

less likely now) or by the hands of his captor. He really hated being here. If there was a way he could contact the Shinsengumi station they might send help

and a search party for the others. He looked at the bag and wrinkled his nose. He wrapped a small quilt around him; it was really cold in the small room. At one

point he was even worried about his testicles freeze. He had never considered having children, but it was nice to know the opportunity was there.

"_Why do these things have to happen to me? What did I do?" _he thought as he sneezed loudly. It was then he heard Shizu speak. It sounded like she had a

conversation with someone, but it didn't sound like anyone he knew. The voice sounded so deep and monotone…

"_Of course not! I have all the things I need, thank you! Please, do not make me call the police." "I _am _the police. It's weird how you haven't heard anything since your_

home is the only residence nearby."

Hijikata held his breath, if he called for help he might be able to get out, but then again; Shizu's wasn't the most reliable

person either. Hijikata heard two pairs of footsteps coming towards his room, he waited for someone to just open the door and see him, notice him and

hopefully take him away from this place. However, the luck of Hijikata Toshirou was present as always. "_I'll come back later. Be careful, Takamori-san, you don't_

know who might knock on your door."

It wasn't.

He got up from the corner he currently sat in and tip-toed towards the door. He leaned his head onto the door, the stranger had left and he could hear Shizu

pace back and forth. Then, suddenly, she stopped. He listened and he listened, but he couldn't hear anything. "_Maybe she's dead?"_he thought hopefully.

"It's not nice to eavesdrop, Toshirou-sama." He jumped backwards from the door, "I know you're there, I can see your shadow." Hijikata didn't know why, but

a part of him told him to hide in the corner, so he did. He said "Sor-sorry, Takamori-san." He could hear her giggle. The door handle slowly fell downwards – she

was coming into the room. Hijikata removed the quilt around him and, if needed, he was ready to strike. Although attacking a defenseless (and deranged)

young woman left a bad taste in his mouth, it was necessary for his safety. If it went well, of course.

"You're so silly, Toshirou-sama, honestly~!" she laughed and stepped into the room. Her expression changed, he noticed how icy-blue her eyes were for the

first time. They looked cold and calculating – evil, almost. Shizu walked towards the bed and looked under it, she looked under the blanket, too, but no Hijikata

were to be found. She stood and looked at the bed for a couple of seconds until a loud shrill escaped her lips. Hijikata took this opportunity to quickly run out

the door and closed it behind him. Shizu hit the door over and over again and Hijikata found himself having problems holding it back. "_How strong is this girl?!_

She's like the girl from Yorozuya only more menacing!

" he thought and bit his lower lip. It took a lot of strength to hold the door closed and Hijikata didn't have

that much strength at the moment since he was in pain and all. It was either holding the door like this until that stranger came back (if he came back) or bolt

towards the door which led him to freedom, the cold and snowy freedom. He cursed under his breath, "_Will I be able to make it? I have to at least try…!" _and with

that the Vice-Chief bolted towards the door to freedom. Sadly enough Shizu had a knife, a small knife which she threw in Hijikata's back. However, the Demon

Vice-Chief didn't fall or stop, he continued to run and then, finally – he was out! He didn't dare to look back, and that was a good thing for Shizu was right

behind him, glaring daggers at his back. Hijikata could feel something wet run down his leg and chest, but he didn't look down. He was certain it was blood,

which was correct.

Shizu took forth another knife and this time she threw it at his leg. The tall man fell down into the white snow, breathing heavily. He could see Shizu's grin, it

was scary. "You-you _literally_backstabbed me!" he said with wide eyes. Shizu wasn't looking at Hijikata anymore; she was looking at something else in front of

them. "Oh no..." she said, "He found me…" Hijikata couldn't see anything but a pair of black boots. He cursed and then he fainted with a thought like;"_Why,_

Mayorin-sama, why?"

* * *

**Ah~, yes. Poor Hijikata, I hope this stranger will help him? ^^ Wonder who it might be *laughs evilly*  
****  
**  
- **_Teehee~._**


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